It’s ok not to do it all
Some drawings from my visual diary about the impossible expectations we set ourselves.
The clock has not been my friend recently. No matter how much time I think I have for things, it never seems to be enough. Like a cruel mistress, the clock keeps me running from one thing to the next, scolding me and making me scold myself.
Racing everywhere with a toddler in tow is not for the faint hearted.
But where was all this pressure coming from? Me, mostly. Since returning to work since having my son it’s felt like I’ve been doing all the things I’m supposed to do, but not very well.
I can’t give him the attention I want because I am working, but I can’t focus or excel at work because I’m parenting. I want to be a good partner, build my illustration business, write some more, learn new skills but these things are all vying for time on the clock. And the clock glares back, shrugs, and says it only has 24 hours to give.
I’m not the only woman who has felt the slap in the face that follows becoming a Mum. I’ve always been a feminist, but truthfully, perhaps embarrassingly, I thought we’d come further than we have.
Sometimes doing all of the things means the pot boils over.
On the weekend, I went to my cousin’s hen party in Wales and didn’t hear the clock tell me anything at all. I floated in the cold, murky sea. I drew a bit, read a book. I didn’t have an internal monologue of everything I needed to do that day, at what time and how well.
Returning to London, I tried to resist that invitation to start to run again. To brush past people in the tube because they’re walking slowly. Over dinner my partner reminded me that it’s ok not to do it all.
Why didn’t I think of that before?
The clock looked back at me and winked.
Things I’m enjoying:
Crocheting a dragon - pack was found in ALDI middle aisle!
Matrescence by Lucy Jones (book) - I couldn’t get on with this at all last year, but now my brain can handle it. Great book on the transition into motherhood.
More of my work
My portfolio and past work is on my website
As always you can also support my work through my online shop